


Everyone Realises That Gwen and Arthur Have No Heirs.

by Lady_Blade_WarAngel



Series: That Awkward Moment When...... [7]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur and Gwen are forced to go on vacation, Complete crack, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Fainting, Fluff and Crack, Flying Frogs, Flying pigs, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 19:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4361249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Blade_WarAngel/pseuds/Lady_Blade_WarAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Morgana have an announcement, and the everyone is horrified to find out that Arthur and Gwen have no heirs. So Morgana sends them on vacation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everyone Realises That Gwen and Arthur Have No Heirs.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, complete crack, I hope it makes you laugh. (nods)

Everyone Realises That Gwen and Arthur Have No Heirs.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

“Merlin and I have successfully completed our mission.” Morgana stated at breakfast that morning. Merlin went bright red.

“What mission? I didn’t send you on a mission! Did I send them on a mission?” Arthur asked Gwen. Gwen blinked.

“Umn... Arthur, I think Morgana is talking about their own personal mission. What mission did you complete again?” Gwen asked Morgana, after answered Arthur, who looked more confused than ever.

“The mission to procreate more Godlike offspring of course! Not that it’s easy in this castle. Everyone is always interrupting our efforts.” Morgana replied. That was when Gwaine burst into the room with Percival, Lancelot, Leon and Elyan behind him.

“We did try to stop him.” Percival said sadly.

“Did you just say Merlin knocked you up again?” Gwaine asked, rather rudely.

“Yes.” Morgana answered.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I thought we’d managed to prevent the apocalypse! Gaius and Evangeline are enough! Why on earth do you need more Godlike offspring?” Gwaine pleaded pathetically. Suddenly, Elyan looked at Morgana and then Gwen strangely.

“Wait, why don’t Arthur and Gwen have any children yet?” Elyan asked. Gwen and Arthur went bright red then.

“It’s because, unlike Merlin and I, they do not have afternoon delight. They don’t have time to procreate.” Morgana replied. Merlin buried his red face in his palms.

“Could you _not_ discuss our sex life in public? _Especially_ not in front of your brother?” Merlin pleaded. Gwaine grinned at that.

“No, please continue Morgana. I so enjoy seeing Arthur’s face tortured by horrible images.” Gwaine stated happily.

“Shut up Gwaine!” Leon exclaimed.

“This is so not the time.” Elyan added. Percival didn’t say a word. Gwen and Arthur were on the verge of hiding under the table at this point from embarrassment.

“Don’t even think about it, unless you’re making royal heirs under that table.” Elyan stated.

“You’ve changed your tune.” Percival quipped.

“Look, they’re married, and if I want nieces and nephews, they’d better get cracking.” Elyan replied seriously.

“Oh dear Gods!” Morgana exclaimed.

“You just got an awful image in your head didn’t you Morgana?” Gwaine questioned, the smile on his face growing ever wider. Morgana glared.

“No, you idiot. Because unlike Arthur, I’m a grown up so whether he sleeps with his wife or not doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is that my Godlike offspring do not have any cousins. Merlin doesn’t have any brothers or sisters and I only have Arthur. That’s it! Arthur, you and Gwen are going on a vacation!” Morgana exclaimed. Arthur and Gwen peaked over the top of the table.

“I can’t just go on vacation Morgana. Who will run the kingdom?” Arthur questioned.

“Merlin can, until you two come back and tell us there are royal heirs on the way.” Morgana stated.

“But Morgana, we have to make preparations and-” Before Gwen could continue, Morgana muttered some spell and Arthur and Gwen disappeared.

“What did you do with them?” Merlin asked warily.

“Don’t worry, they’re on a little island with magical servants. You remember where we went after the whole deciding to have Godlike offspring conversation?” Morgana replied. Merlin grinned.

“I remember that place. Good times. Good times.” Merlin stated happily. Morgana looked at the Knights.

“No more eavesdropping or I’ll magically attach your penises to the doors.” Morgana stated before getting up and leaving the room. Gwaine looked horrified.

“She can’t really do that can she?” Leon whispered to Percival.

“She can.” Merlin stated.

“How do you know?” Gwaine asked.

“Because Morgana doesn’t make idle threats.” Merlin replied before leaving the room after his wife.

“I’ve just realised something.” Elyan stated.

“What?” Percival asked.

“What if Arthur and Gwen never manage to procreate?” Elyan asked.

“You think of that now?” Gwaine yelled in exasperation. Then he stormed out of the room, his hair bouncing as he did so.

“You know, Gwaine has really girly hair.” Percival said.

 ** _“I heard that!”_** Gwaine yelled. The rest of the Knights fell silent.

xXxXxXx THREE MONTHS LATER xXxXxXx

“Is she pregnant yet?” Percival asked Morgana.

“Nope.” Morgana replied. Her own stomach sticking out as she lounged on a very comfortable chair near Gwen’s throne.

“How do you know she isn’t?” Elyan asked.

“I know everything.” Morgana replied. The Knights sighed as Merlin walked into the room.

“You do realise that Lot is planning to attack because Arthur isn’t here right?” Merlin commented to his wife drily.

“Yes I know. Don’t worry. If they turn up, we’ll turn them into flying pigs.” Morgana stated.

“If they’re flying pigs, they can fly and crap on our heads at the same time.” Gwaine stated. Morgana frowned.

“Oh... I didn’t think of that. Frogs then. Everyone likes frogs right?” Morgana asked. The Knights and Merlin all sighed then.

xXxXxXx ONE MONTH LATER xXxXxXx

Morgana and Merlin were both sleeping, when Morgana sat up in bed, raising a hand, and one finger extended upwards.

“Eureka! They’ve finally done it!” Morgana exclaimed. Merlin jolted out of sleep.

“What? Finally? Thank the Gods! Now Arthur can come back and bloody rule his kingdom and we can go back to you chasing me for sex while I chase our Godlike offspring away from the kitchen and Gwaine’s hair.” Merlin stated, before going back to sleep. Morgana just grinned maniacally.

xXxXxXx ONE MONTH LATER xXxXxXx

Morgana was in labour... again... Arthur and Gwen stood outside the room with Merlin and the Knights. Gwen looked at Merlin.

“Did you two decide on any names?” Gwen asked.

“Well, Morgana wants Vivienne for a girl and I want Balinor for a boy. So we agreed to those names.” Merlin replied. Gwaine stared at Merlin.

“There had better not be Twins coming out of your evil wife again.” Gwaine stated. Merlin snorted out laughter as Gwaine pouted. That was when Gaius came out of the room.

“Merlin, it’s triplets! How on earth did you two manage that?” Gaius asked incredulously. Gwaine’s jaw dropped in horror.

“Boys or girls?” Merlin asked.

“A girl and two boys.” Gaius replied. Merlin grinned.

“Great, we can call the other boy Will!” Merlin exclaimed. Arthur looked at Gwen.

“How many nieces and nephews do we have now?” Arthur asked.

“Three nieces and three nephews.” Gwen replied.

“Um... Gwen, I think your maths is a bit skewed there.” Merlin replied. Gwen glared at Elyan.

“The next time you decide to sleep with a tavern girl in Caerleon, remember this moment Elyan. You’re a father.” Gwen stated. Elyan stared wide eyed at Gwen and then promptly fainted.

“Is he really?” Merlin asked.

“No. I was just messing with him.” Gwen replied.

xXxXxXx EIGHT MONTHS LATER xXxXxXx

“I’m gonna be an Auntie! I’m gonna be an Auntie!” Morgana sang out as she danced around Merlin, Arthur and the Knights. The time for Gwen to give birth had finally arrived.

“Have you two decided on names?” Merlin asked Arthur.

“I wanted Uther for a boy, but Gwen wants Tom. I compromised if we have a girl we call her Ygraine. Gwen was happier with Ygraine then Uther.” Arthur replied.

“If I was Gwen I wouldn’t be calling my son Uther either. Poor child will grow up with a complex.” Morgana replied, after she stopped singing and dancing. That was when Gaius came out of the room.

“Arthur, you have twins. A boy and a girl. What is in the water on that island you four went to?” Gaius commented irritably, as he walked back into the room muttered about multiple births that really shouldn’t be possible. Arthur blinked, and then looked at Morgana and Merlin, then he promptly fainted dead away.

“I think your plan worked a little too well.” Merlin replied.

“Well at least with two children it doesn’t matter if they get time to make anymore.” Morgana replied cheerfully as she practically skipped off down the corridor singing. “I’m an Auntie. I’m an Auntie. I’m an Auntie.” The rest of the group stayed in silence, hoping the shock of twins hadn’t just killed Arthur.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope it made you laugh, and that the next part doesn't disappoint.


End file.
